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Francine Caitlyn Chye
a.k.a. Hurricaine Fran
a.k.a. Fran the PCD
a.k.a. the happy bunny :D
<3
040889 (August baby!)
Crescent, ACJC, hocker
xoxo
If it's meant to be, it'll be(:
"And sometimes good things fall apart
so better things can fall together"
don't think, just run
Monday, April 17, 2006
ZOO PICS: http://www.imagestation.com/album/pictures.html?id=2107360496
It's Easter already. No more no-meat fridays. I can't believe lent's over. Kinda strange. Hmm. It's never bothered me in past years? Why this year? Maybe it's cos i made a conscious effort to give up something, no necessarily close to my heart, but something that i kinda craved for at random times. Maybe it was a feeling of being wanted or needed that i gave up more than anything else. Maybe. It was a good idea though. I'm sure of it.
It's been so long. I was under the assumption that i had well moved on, let go even. So please explain why you still very much took my breath away today? I guess i assumed wrong. It still hurts as much as it did for all those months of patiently waiting, aching, needing, holding out. I thought i had gotten you out of my system, i really did. I guess forcing myself into the belief that you were indeed hazardous to my mental and emotional wellbeing, that you lied to me not out of circumstance but out of choice, that i didn't mean as much as i thought i did. But somewhere hidden in the depths of my little dusty memory box, i vaguely remember the late night phone calls, the msges, the secret sweet whisperings that made all the difference, that made me smile. And why am i holding onto the promises made when we were that much younger, that much more naive, eager, excited? So much has changed since then-for us both. I thought i had finally managed to harden my heart to the ridiculousness of the situation my own emotions had placed me in but the truth is that just a look has melted everything i had worked so hard for. It sucks. I keep looking around me and everyone seems to have their someone. Maybe it's just the emptiness acting out again.. But then, why you? Of all the people, why must it be the one who's caused me the most hurt over the days, months, years? Maybe it's cos i still hold th most amazing memories close to heart. Maybe it's cos i've subconsciously not gotten over you to the extent where every other guy turns me off so damn easily. Maybe it's cos it's only ever been you. Either way it's not gonna work with me feeling like this, and you not feeling at all. So i'll go back to trying and maybe one fine day another prince charming will manage to sweep me off my feet.
Season starts on Tuesday, I'll concentrate on that.
Happy Easter.
-don't think, period.
ex-oh, ex-oh
2:47 AM
